Purple Shock by Pfaff
Who would have thought, in this ‘modern’ age, that a woman proposing would cause such shock and awe?
There have been, as a rule, three major responses to the fact I proposed to my now-fiancé:
1. “Is it a leap year?”
I have heard this exact phrase from at least three people – either followed or preceded by “are you allowed to do that?” Their initial reaction to being told that I proposed to Nick is one of shocked bemusement – and a sudden urge to make things right. Most of you probably know the old story that a woman is only ‘allowed’ to propose during a leap year.
Now, this apparently goes back to an old Scottish law from the 13th century, stating that women were allowed to propose only on the 29th of Feb in a leap year. And so the tradition has persevered.
My first reaction to this question was ‘who cares’, and ‘yes!!’? Of course I’m allowed to – good grief, we’re not in the dark ages, here, people!
One of the people to have this reaction was my ex, whom I chat to twice a year or so (as we parted amicably after almost 8 years together, we remain friends). He joked to me that he would’ve refused on principle… and now we know why I didn’t marry him! 😉
And so it was...
Mostly, of course, this question has been surrounded by goodwill and happiness for us both – but it has certainly brought me amusement!
2. “Awesome! Girl Power!”
The reaction of most of my female friends! (P.S. Guess which gender mostly asked the above question… hmm?). I have had comments such as “your mum must be so proud that you were the proposer” (my mum’s a feminist from way back), “sometimes a girl just has to let her guy know what she wants”, and the ubiquitous “that is so cool”!
It’s funny, for most of my life I have entertained the small dream that I would be proposed to – preferably in a quiet and non-dramatic fashion (if anyone had ever made a big deal of a proposal in public or in front of my family, I think I would have sunk into the floor in horror…). I’m not an overly-romantic person, but you do still grow up with certain cultural ideas lodged in your psyche.
However, after ‘taking the plunge’, I have to admit that I don’t regret it one bit. After all, what is it I really wanted? This wonderful man to be my husband… and now I’ve got it! Win-win all around.
3. Stuttering/Stunned Acceptance/Bursting-into-happy-tears… (i.e. Family)
I think this is probably the same no matter who asks who 😀
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It has certainly been an education into the predominant cultural traditions we still seem to carry around with us. So, do tell… which of these reactions would you have if a female friend or relative told you that she proposed?
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