Nick caught me looking all contemplative one day in Fiji...

I got to thinking about this yesterday as I walked on the beach near my house. I had just had a frustrating phone call with one of my staff, and it was on my mind during my walk.

However, after I spent some time walking, I sat down on some of the massive sandbags that help to prevent the erosion of our foreshore, and just gazed out to sea for a while. It was a gorgeous, blue-sky day, and the ocean was gently lapping at the beach in the low wind. Watching and listening to the waves, I had a realisation. Those waves were breaking in an un-broken cycle. For as long as there had been a shoreline, they had been there – ebb and flow, to and fro. They were continuing the eternal movement right there in front of me, and would continue to do so for as long as a beach continued to exist.

Whenever I have a moment like that – where I really experience the immense history and future of the planet, everything in my life gets put into perspective to me. I realise how inconsequential little annoyances are in the grand scheme of my life, and how truly insignificant I am in this massive, mostly unknown universe. As always, in moments like these, I got to thinking about my life – about what I live for. In short – the purpose of my life.

Now, I say purpose deliberately. I don’t use the word ‘meaning’ because I don’t believe there is a ‘higher meaning’ to life – except what I choose to give it. To understand where I’m coming from with that, you need to know (if you didn’t already) that I’m an atheist. This life and it’s experiences are all I live for, and all I’ll ever have.

So, I talk about a purpose. What do I live for? What keeps me going? The short, succinct answer, is that the purpose of my life is to be happy. But what does that mean? What makes me happy?

I came up with a list, which by no means captures everything, but gives me some things to aim for…

I am happy when…

• I make someone smile or laugh
• Someone makes me smile or laugh!
• I am communicating with my friends and loved ones in a positive manner
• I am creating something. A piece of jewellery, a piece of writing, some music
• Sleeping! Or, more accurately, being curled up in a warm bed, preferably with the man I love within arms length – and the cat, too
• Drinking tea
• A good walk in fine weather
• The feeling I get when I do something I don’t like for someone I care about, and they notice
• Getting lost in a good novel
• Being in the rainforest
• Looking up at the clear night sky and being amazed at the uncountable stars
• Seeing the ‘aha’ moment happen in one of my students
• Watching my cat play and go all silly
• Sending my work off to someone, and knowing that they will wear and enjoy it – such a satisfying feeling
• Getting an A on an assignment (back in school days)

I know I’ll think of ten more things once I’ve published this post, but that will do as a list for now. Basically, being happy, for me, means doing things that fulfill me and bring me pleasure. There are so many different ways to acheive this – and I’m discovering ever more as I get older, and hopefully wiser.

The Buddhists think of happiness as divorcing yourself from the highs and lows of life – of attaining peaceful equanimity. I like this idea to a point – but I would never be willing to sacrifice the highs of life in order to avoid the lows.

Each moment, day, and year of my life, I find that I am growing in happiness. I am at a place in my life where things are very, very well, and I can only hope that I am lucky enough to have that continue for a long time to come.

So, my question to you is – what makes you happy? Or, more importantly, what is the purpose of your life?

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